Suspicions and Assumptions

We’re back! After our Best Of summer series, Bishop DeDe returns with a brand-new episode for our fourth season of Speaking of Faith. In this episode: Suspicions and Assumptions, Bishop DeDe reflects on how faith can guide us through a world too often marked by fear and division. She and Adam explore how listening, courage, and intentionality can help us respond with compassion, dignity, and truth—shaping our hearts and minds to better reflect the teachings of Jesus.

Highlights:

• Listening well in order to truly understand others
• Letting our words reflect dignity and respect
• How fear can distort our view of people
• Courage to confront hard truths
• Practical steps for moving beyond suspicion
• Living with intentionality, justice, and mercy

AI Disclosure: To support our staff in their limited time, many of our episode summaries are first generated by AI and then edited by the Communications Director to accurately reflect and preview our podcast episodes.

Transcript

Bishop DeDe (00:02.536)
Hey friends, welcome to the podcast. We're back. It's fall, I'm back from vacation. I have a lot of energy, so this is good. I'm ready to talk about our faith, to speak of our faith. I hope you've had a good time in this last month to reflect on your faith, to have opportunities for conversation with friends and with loved ones. And I especially hope that as you...

listen to the best of series. It's always exciting that I have a best of series. It's kind of fun. That it sparked some interest and some thoughts in your life. Wherever you are in your journey of faith and whatever your faith may be, you're invited to this conversation. It is meant to be a conversation. It is not meant to be, you know, we're here to talk with each other, to speak of our faith and to talk about what's on our hearts.

And I will say what's on my heart as I come back from vacation and as I begin again is our hurting world. You know, there's a lot of division out there. There's a lot of suspicion. There's a lot of dialogue. Everybody seems to be talking over and at and under and around each other. But the listening and the ability to hear, sometimes when we speak our faith, we need to first listen to understand, to seek to understand.

And so part of speaking is intentionally bringing something that's useful and relevant to the world. And with so many people talking and so much division, I have really started hearing all the anxiety that there is and the suspicion of one another, the predisposed thoughts about other people, that those people are like this and those people are like that.

And there seems to be this lack of balance in our thinking. We're very quick to cast one another into a group or a faction and make assumptions. But really listening and really hearing when someone speaks to us about their faith takes better years than that. My grandmother used to say, you have two ears and one mouth, use them proportionally. And I think that's especially true.

Bishop DeDe (02:25.598)
When it comes to times like these, when there's so much temptation to hatred and vilification, we need to remember who we are and that how we act is the best indication of what we truly believe. How we speak to one another is very important, not just what we say to one another. And then our willingness to hear from someone else with a different opinion, a different position,

and to seek to understand is an intrinsic part of our faith. It's so, so important. And our passage of scripture today is going to be from Philippians 4, 8. In this time when there's so much swirling around and when you may feel tempted or pushed to take a position on something, if you're not for it, you're against it, you should stand up, you should speak out, to stop first and say, what is it that I am about?

What's important to me? What is essential? And how can I speak in a way that actually is useful to someone else? There are always opportunities where we can tear down and denigrate someone. But how many times do we spend our energy building up, encouraging, seeking to understand, being patient with, forgiving?

And yes, we do need to stand up and make sure that we're speaking words of dignity and respect for all people, whether we agree with them or not, that we respect that God loves us and God loves our neighbors. And that prime directive that we love God with all we are and love our neighbors, ourself, sometimes is so difficult when we're feeling fear and suspicion, when we feel the...

the heat rising us, the righteous indignation of the wrong that's being done to harm people. And when we see the devastating results of human sinfulness in our world, the ways in which people's lives are being torn apart, it is so hard and so difficult. And so where to start? Where do we start is such an important question. And I think we always start with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Bishop DeDe (04:48.894)
We always start with the teachings of Jesus. And today, even though I'm talking about the teachings of Jesus, I am going to lean on Philippians 4, 8, because it says, finally, brothers and sisters, siblings, whatever is true, and in that regard, I would say Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,

whatever is pleasing, I would say to God, whatever is commendable, if there's any excellence and if there's anything worthy of praise, think about, meditate on these things. That we begin with what we believe and meditate on that. I remember a youth director one time took out a dollar bill and he talked about how in the treasury, and I don't know if this is still true,

but this is a few years back, that they would, the people who were looking for counterfeit money, rather than looking at all the different ways people could counterfeit money, they would literally sit and look at and stare out and meditate on what an authentic dollar bill looks like. And then knowing the truth, they would spot the counterfeit right away because it wouldn't look the same. In our faith, we need to take a minute

And before we react with our anger, before we react with our suspicion, before we react with our just indignation about something, that we remember whose we are, who we are, and what we're about. That the truth of life is Jesus' reconciling grace and mercy in our lives. All of us are sinners. There's no such thing as

them versus us, we are all part of God's kingdom together. And whether we like our neighbor or not, we are called to know who we are and act appropriately. And that is so hard at times, because there are times when we need to speak words and say, no, no further, this is enough. And there are other times when we need to say, you know what, I am so busy opposing, I need to listen.

Bishop DeDe (07:10.834)
I need to seek to understand first and to recognize that the gift of speaking our faith is a privilege. How many millions of people in our world never have the ability that I'm having right now to speak into a microphone and to be heard. To speak our faith means that we're speaking on behalf of what we believe, who we are, what we believe to be true.

but never to forget that we also are speaking for people who cannot speak for themselves because they don't have access to that level of power. People who are silenced by injustice, people who are silenced by racism, homophobia, transphobia, people who do not have access to the ability to learn and understand the way some of us do and to use that privilege for the benefit of others.

It burdens my heart that my transgender siblings are suffering so and being talked about in such hateful ways. Ways that are evidence that someone hasn't met a transgender person, doesn't really know the journey of what that is, the truth. And so whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, we need to meditate on those things. We need to learn and seek to understand.

And there are times we need to recognize that we need repentance. We need to repent of our high-minded thinking that if they just did this or those people just did that, it would be better. Maybe we're the ones who need to do something differently. Maybe we're the ones who need to speak and raise our voices in the marketplace and in the public sphere and say, know what, enough of denigrating other people.

Enough of talking about people who are poor as if somehow they have failed when it's really the way in which this world is So I've said a lot about a lot of things but what I primarily really want to talk about in this podcast is Refocusing our minds refocusing our thoughts and reestablishing that when we speak of our faith, what is it? We're trying to convey

Bishop DeDe (09:34.428)
And how is it that might best be conveyed as a way of respecting the dignity of other people, advocating for justice and speaking truth to power? How are we doing that as people of faith? so, Adam, I invite you into this conversation, speaking of faith. don't know if we have any questions or you have questions, but this is a very difficult subject to talk about because we're so...

busy being divided into factions that to talk about truth is hard.

Adam Eichelberger (10:07.554)
Mm-hmm.

it absolutely is. And I think that we can all agree. I think we can all agree no matter where we land on issues or the spectrum of, if you want to call it politics or culture, it feels now more than ever that things are so divided and we are so ready to be suspicious of people.

Bishop DeDe (10:21.642)
Mm-hmm.

Adam Eichelberger (10:37.696)
all the time. And we've had conversations about this one on this podcast when we've talked about how we love our neighbor. And I think that this is just another extension, like another layer out. If we're looking at this like an onion, maybe it's not the best example for what we're trying to do here. But if you're looking at like you're starting at the center and there's these layers of community that we have. And as we're moving further and further out from this kind of core of who we are, for those of like for me and you.

Bishop DeDe (10:45.172)
Mm-hmm.

Bishop DeDe (10:52.504)
Ha!

Adam Eichelberger (11:05.334)
maybe you listener, if you're part of a church community, like you kind of find those things in, I find those things specifically in like my family, my very good friends, my church community. Then as we get further and further out, I think that's where we tend to start being a little bit more suspicious, like you talked about, or we make these assumptions about people. The first thing that came to my mind when you read that passage from Philippians is that I hear Paul encouraging us to focus on these really good things like truth, honor, what is commendable.

How can this kind of a practice for us help push back against these kind of like quick assumptions or our suspicions that we have about other people?

Bishop DeDe (11:52.062)
Great question. mean, and listener, you may have a response. think, excuse me, I think it's so important when we're having conversations like this to realize they are complex. They seem simple. It seems like it's a simple thing. Well, think about good stuff. Put on a happy face, know, play nice. You know, it, sounds like it's, it's pedantic really, but in fact, what it's saying is, okay, how much of your time do you spend being afraid of something?

and how much of your time are you spending being devoted to something? It's a clarifying passage about how we approach our lives. And so where it can seem simplistic to say, know, part of focusing on truth sometimes is telling the negative. It's not all Pollyanna here. It's the truth is there are people who are suffering because of

at capitalism run amok, that no matter how much they work, no matter how much they try, they're under the heel of not having enough food for their children. And, and then whatever is commendable, whatever, if there's excellence in anything, it can sound like, well, just ignore that 99 % where it's, you know, not a good thing and focus on that, you know, their hair looked nice that day. that isn't really the approach here.

The approach is no matter what someone throws at me, I'm gonna be looking for Jesus. No matter what is happening, I'm gonna be seeking to live how I believe is best to live. So forgiving my neighbor doesn't mean validating my neighbor was okay to harm me. Forgiving my neighbor means I am not going to make my decisions in reference to that pain.

I'm making my decisions in reference to the mercy and grace of God. I'm going to act in accordance with what I believe to be true. And so nobody can take that away from me. There's a defiance in this. And if we just read it as kind of a Pollyanna feel good, then we've forgotten what was happening in Philippians and we, or Philippi, excuse me. And we've forgotten what was happening for Paul being thrown in prison and beaten and different things.

Bishop DeDe (14:17.268)
to not forget our prime directive to live for Jesus. These are hard and compelling things for us to do. So I think the way we do it is by telling the truth, is by recognizing when something is hard and not shying away from truth. Sometimes truth is we're complicit in a thing. And then repenting, changing our mind, seeking again the way of Jesus.

Believing that love is the answer, even when we've stopped believing in love at all. That's a challenging, challenging place to be.

Adam Eichelberger (14:53.044)
I 100 % agree. And I think that I really like it's funny you bring up things like fear and changing our minds. Cause that was the kind of the next question I wanted to talk about. Cause what I hear in this is like, I I'm speaking for myself and maybe you agree with me, Bishop. You could tell me if I'm way off track, your Bishop or listeners. it's really easy for me to let fear shape how I see people.

Bishop DeDe (15:19.452)
yes.

Adam Eichelberger (15:20.246)
And I think specifically in our culture, in our context, as people who live in the United States, I think our fear comes from the things that we don't understand or that we may not approve of. And it's hard for me to always remember that like when we talk about these things, because in our current climate, we look at them as issues, right? These are things that we vote on or we debate on, but issues are always linked to people.

Bishop DeDe (15:24.714)
Mm-hmm.

Bishop DeDe (15:33.514)
Mm-hmm.

Adam Eichelberger (15:49.219)
These things aren't things that happen in a vacuum. They are always linked to people. So I can think about how somebody who may not disagree with me on a certain issue, they have gotten to that place by one means or another, and we may disagree on those things a lot. But what does it look like in a practical way for us to kind of retrain our minds, as you kind of talked about, makes me think about Romans 12, too, you know?

Bishop DeDe (15:49.354)
Mm-hmm.

Bishop DeDe (16:18.238)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Adam Eichelberger (16:18.53)
Do not be conformed to the ways of this world, instead be transformed by the renewal of your mind. And how do we kind of angle our hearts towards the things that are excellent and worthy of praise? So how do we change our mindset on this stuff?

Bishop DeDe (16:23.142)
Exactly.

Bishop DeDe (16:32.522)
it's such a great question and so hard to really, you know, get to and listener, what is your answer to that? How would you respond to Adam's question? I know I, I have just recently been traveling abroad and I was in, one city, one, when you said practical, this, this experience came to mind. I experienced a challenging situation, someone stole from me and something that I really needed. And I was feeling very frightened.

very vulnerable. I was by myself in a place where people didn't speak my language and I didn't speak theirs. And there was a lot of fear. And there was a man who I didn't know. And at first I felt suspicious of him because I'm in a stranger in a foreign land here. he asked me a question. And what I could have done was just play it off and be like, you I'm just looking for whatever.

I, but I said, someone stole this from me and I'm trying to figure out what to do. So I ventured being vulnerable with this person. and he's, and he said, you know, it's not your fault that happened. The people who steal like that, they're suffering and it's not their fault either. Maybe you could be, he said, this is a time when we can forgive each other.

And just, he said, and you've come, he said, you've traveled to this place. Don't let this one thing keep you from what you've come here to do. He said, there are people who care about you. And he said, tomorrow you'll wake up and you'll be able to get past this, but don't let it stand in your way. And I still remember this person. This actually wasn't on this recent time away, but on a previous trip, a couple of years ago, I still remember that man because my.

Feeling about him was suspicious because I didn't know him. looked different than me. He wasn't, you know, I didn't know what to expect. And yet his words helped me restart. He helped me more than I can say by saying, this isn't your, you didn't do anything wrong. This isn't your fault. And those people who stole from you didn't do anything that he didn't say they didn't do anything wrong. But he said, there are reasons that they steal because they're so desperate. And immediately.

Bishop DeDe (18:57.978)
I had a better understanding. Didn't make it okay. I still would like prefer that people not do that and that society have better answers for people. But nonetheless, his admonition to not let it get in the way of me doing what I've come here to do is something I've gone back to. And I think in this present time, when we listen to the news and we feel our hearts getting burdened, we feel ourselves getting all, you know, really,

anxiety rises and rises and when we have conversations with people and they say things and it just makes our blood boil. To stop and breathe and say, know, there have been difficult times before, there will be difficult times again, but in this moment, I'm going to trust in God and I'm going to stop for a minute and give myself the space to make a decision out of fear, not out of fear, but out of love or

truth or a sound mind that, another verse that we were kind of quoting here. And I think practically what we do is we, we stop and maybe share with someone what's happening for us. Maybe we call a trusted friend. Maybe we reach out to a trusted counselor and we say, you know, I read the news or I'm having these conversations or I see these events in the world and I'm really afraid. I am really, really afraid for myself.

for my children, for my neighbor, and then to gather with people and let other people help us find peace, find sustenance. And to move past suspicion, there are people in the world who are unsafe people because of what's happening for them. But by and large, most people we meet, even perhaps especially the people we see as unsafe people, are people.

as you say, making their way. And so to set down suspiciousness and to take up our desire to communicate and to speak faith in asking for help, in saying no, in standing up for what we believe to be true. And all of this, I would say all of this is circling around the real thing we're talking about here. And so I wanna name it is courage.

Bishop DeDe (21:24.82)
To live right now in this world, we have to have courage and to be of good courage, that we're not lost, that God is here, and that the true things of God, the honorable things of God, the just things of God, the pure and pleasing and commendable things of God and the excellence of God is with us, is bigger than this moment for us. And so to allow ourselves to embrace that, feel it, let it...

flow through us and then inform our decisions in a new way.

Adam Eichelberger (21:58.916)
that that's really good for me to for me personally to focus on is this idea of what what it means to really be courageous because I think that sometimes in my own context I look at courage through like the lens as a as a big nerd I look at courage through the lens of like comic books like I look at it in like the context of movies and like what it means to be like a hero and things like that so thinking about courage like that is really important I also

Bishop DeDe (22:18.058)
Ha

Bishop DeDe (22:23.245)
Adam Eichelberger (22:27.309)
The other thing that kind of came to me is kind of the last thing on my mind and in my heart about this bishop and again listeners, I'm speaking for all of us here asking our questions. The thing that really kind of stands out to me in focusing on what Paul or what the writer of Philippians is saying about this is I think it kind of comes down to the discipline of attention. Like where we choose to place

Bishop DeDe (22:51.85)
Yeah.

Adam Eichelberger (22:54.337)
our thoughts and you talked about where is it that we're placing our thoughts? Not just as Christians, because I know that maybe some of you listeners who join us on the show may not be a Christian. How do we as people, especially in this context of knowing Jesus, following Jesus, how do we choose to see the good in other people and not, go, like you said, it's a mind shift change, but not just go, like that's that first step, but then how do we,

also make it a form of discipleship because inevitably for those of us who believe in Jesus, we as disciples follow in the footsteps of the master. That's what that word kind of comes down to and it's root. So how do we make this a part of our discipleship? Like how do we make this a part of our following Jesus?

Bishop DeDe (23:26.281)
simply.

Bishop DeDe (23:41.834)
Such a good question. And I think, first of all, we go to Jesus, we read scripture. Look at how Jesus responds to those who oppose him. Look how Jesus responds to the words that Jesus uses in scripture. And yes, those who are scholars, we don't know what words Jesus actually said, but let's just trust the scripture and look at how Jesus responds with generosity, with kindness, with clarity.

There are times Jesus says no. There are times that Jesus makes a spectacle, turns over tables in the marketplace and says, you brood of vipers. We sanitize Jesus too much, just like we sanitize this verse from Philippians too much and make it kind of a feel good, be positive, just be happy kind of thing, rather than recognizing that whenever you say the word true, truth cuts.

It cuts to the marrow because the truth is something we often are trying to avoid with all of our self-aggrandizing, trying to put ourselves on the winning team, not the losing team with truth, rather than recognizing that the right thing is to receive the mercy of God, to be about mercy. And we have a hard time with that. Mercy takes courage. It takes courage to say, you know, I'm...

I'm a work in progress. I am not perfect. I don't understand all. don't know all, but I don't like what's happening to my neighbor. I don't like what's happening to our world. I want a world where there is justice. And I want a world where people are not harmed without a sense of justice happening. so courage, truth, these are big things, but they are actually

the things that will save us in these small ways by saying a word of compassion, by admitting when we're wrong, by asking for forgiveness, by seeking to make restoration with a person, by saying, will not do that. This is how I define myself. These acts of courage to speak and say words that are true and honorable and good is an act of defiance in this time.

Bishop DeDe (26:08.636)
It means they're not buying into you're either on one side or the other side of offense. I am a person of God. I'm complex. God's mercy is complex. That simplification is not safety. It's denial. And so dear friends, is a podcast that

I'm not even sure what the title of it is, to be honest with you. I started off thinking it was about suspicion, but maybe it's just about courage. Maybe it's about resiliency. It's certainly about intentionality is as Adam so well pointed out. It's about living life and being who we're called to be in this world with intentionality, which requires us to be of good courage and which requires that we focus focus, focus, focus intentionally on whatever is true.

whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, whatever is excellent with God, that our lives conform to that through repentance and renewal and beginning again. So in this time, my prayer for you is that you will begin again, that you will start anew and remember who you are and whose you are. And so I pass the baton to you.

Go now and go forth to speak words of truth and purity and justice to this hurting world and invite others to talk with you. And until next time, may you be blessed and be a blessing and we'll speak soon.