What Are We Saying?

Summary

In this episode of Speaking of Faith, Bishop DeDe discusses with Adam the significance of how we communicate our faith. The conversation covers the importance of intentionality in our words, the need for compassion and humility when speaking about faith, and the transformative power of positive self-talk. Bishop ends with a light-hearted question about mastering new skills, highlighting the value of communication in building community.

Takeaways

• Speaking intentionally about our faith is crucial.
• Words have the power to create or destroy.
• We should strive to speak with compassion and humility.
• Acknowledging the harm caused by the church is important.
• Positive self-talk is essential for spiritual growth.
• Our internal dialogue affects how we communicate with others.
• We are called to manifest God's kingdom through our words.
• Language can bridge gaps in understanding and community.
• Humility is key in discussing faith and theology.
• Engaging in conversations about faith fosters deeper connections.

Chapters

00:00 The Power of Words in Faith
06:09 Speaking with Compassion and Humility
11:48 Transforming Self-Talk through Faith
18:03 Mastering Communication and Understanding

AI Disclosure: To support our staff in their limited time, many of our episode summaries are first generated by AI and then edited by the Communications Director to accurately reflect and preview our podcast episodes.

Transcript

Bishop DeDe (00:00)
Welcome friends to Speaking of Faith. This podcast is about talking about what we believe. My name is DeDe Dee am the Episcopal Bishop of Central New York. That's Canada to Pennsylvania, Utica to Elmira and all the places in between. I am joined by Adam Eichelberger, our Director of Communications. And today we're literally going to talk about speaking.

been one of those things over the last few months that I've heard people saying things and using words. And it just occurred to me that we need some intentionality about how we speak about our faith, to think about the ways in which we actually give voice to what we believe. And the reason for this is because speaking is central to our faith as Christians. When you think about in Genesis, God speaking into being in Genesis one,

the forming of the universe. When you think about Jesus in the Gospel of John as the Word of God that has gone out, often people talk about the Word of God referencing the Bible, but that actually is not what the Bible says. The Bible says that the Word of God is Jesus, a living expression of God. And then we are called to be living expressions made in the image of God, that how we speak has an impact on

creation that were it's part of an ongoing act of creative order. Now, if this sounds familiar to you as something that's kind of going around and in what I would kind of reference as modern or pop culture is a law of attraction. Many books written about this, you'll see it everywhere. Often when the law of attraction is talked about in Christian circles, most of the ones I've seen kind of skewed toward

prosperity gospel that we speak and God rewards and that kind of thing. But if you're not familiar with it, the law of attraction is rooted in a belief that thoughts are a form of energy and that energy, whether positive or negative, is attractive in the universe and tends to join with other energies around that. I think we all are familiar with when we're talking with someone and they're fairly negative.

and we kind of inadvertently find ourselves becoming more negative ourselves. Or when we're around someone who's super positive, you feel like awkward being too negative because you sort of, there's sort of an impulse there, there's a feeling there. Well, the law of attraction is even beyond that, but that's similar to it. But for us today, as we're talking about speaking of our fate, what really has been on my mind is how we speak about things.

The tendency to call some people names or the tendency to use harsh words or the tendency to be derogatory or demeaning in the way we casually disregard someone. And then if someone says, well, I'm not comfortable with that to say, well, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just joking. I wasn't trying to say anything. All of our words are important. All of our words are about what we want to be, what we want to be about.

how we want to live our lives. And so when we're speaking of our faith, it's very important, I think, to use words that we want to be reality. So if I'm talking about someone that I'm angry with, to caution myself from using words that are inappropriate or demeaning or put them down, but rather to talk about the issue at hand. I'm frustrated with this action.

And our tendency and the tendency in the world is to demean people and often make people the butt of a joke because we don't like them or because they make us uncomfortable. And that is something as people who proclaim a faith, people who profess to be a Christian, our words matter. I, for instance, am not going to call someone I perceive as an enemy by a derogatory name, if I can help it.

because I want to honor the dignity of that person. Part of loving my enemy, part of loving Jesus is to speak about other humans with respect. Now this does not mean that it's always, you know, super sunshiny language. Sometimes we need to say, this person is harmful. This person is acting in ways that hurt people. To speak truthful words. It's no help to be false flattery is not helpful.

and trying to put a super sunshiny take on something where it's really been hard, sometimes the most loving way to refer to someone is that they have an issue. So whether you're using terms like this person has an issue with substance use disorder, those are important words to say that can be lovingly said. But I want to differentiate from words where we're making fun of, trying to degrade someone.

because we're offended by what they've done. So when we're speaking of our faith, what I want us to focus on today is how we speak of our faith in ways that are helpful, hopeful, healing, restorative, that actually a part of what we profess we believe. And so that involves saying the truth, refraining from dehumanization or derogatory comments, and speaking in a way where there's a sense of

I want this to be different. I want to learn to understand. I want to seek to understand. And then I want to also ask for what it is I feel is important. We need to be about making a difference in this world and not becoming complicit in further denigration of how we talk about one another. So I've said a lot here, Adam. What are some of the things that come to your mind or questions you may have?

Adam Eichelberger (06:09)
I think it's really good for us to remember that one of the things that you have said time and again, Bishop, is that we are called to participate in God's act of creation in the world. That it simultaneously is this kind of one-off event that we get from our scripture, but it is something that

is continually happening. You know, we hear that phrase that Jesus is making all things new. we are called to be participants in that. And you've talked about that too, when it comes to referring back to our baptismal covenant that when we enter into that covenant with God, we are participating in the work of bringing the kingdom of God here and now. these are all really good things for me to keep in mind personally. I know my own experience and some of our listeners were clearly paying attention last week.

They heard you talk about how we are going to talk about what we talk about today. And so a lot of folks had some questions specifically about how we use our words. So I wanted to start with Leo and Leo asks, sometimes I don't feel like I have the right words to explain or share my faith with others, especially when they may be someone who's been hurt by the church. How can we speak with humility and compassion in those moments?

Bishop DeDe (07:26)
Wow, Leo, what a great question. And listeners, I invite you to think about how you would respond and recognizing that this question is out there. so talking about that together, mean, Leo, we need to allow our language about our faith to broaden and become more contemporary. And so if we talk about the salvation of Jesus, most people are stopped right away on the word salvation. What are you being saved from and saved to?

and get kind of caught up in that. But if we talk about learning to love Jesus has changed my life for the better. I find that I'm more compassionate. I can look at another person and see their dignity instead of just the issues that are between us. Or what I've needed to learn in my life is how to value myself and value others with equality and justice. And not always either put myself in situations that denigrate me or

to pay attention when I am denigrating another person. And so to speak about our faith with all of our language. And so if you're trying to talk with someone, especially who's been harmed by the church, it's often helpful to use non-churchy language to talk with them about what is the value of love in their life and the value of community and the value of hope. These things transcend our faith and our core.

parts of our faith. Our advocacy and allyship about the dignity of every human being comes from that rooted place and understanding that all things were created by God. And when we talk about God, which even the word itself, to think about this force and all of the universe that's eternal and drawing us to love and wholeness. This force that we feel and become part of when we care for one another.

And so when you're speaking with someone who's been harmed by the church, to also be able to acknowledge that the church has harmed people and that people can have good intentions and still do harmful, hateful things. And we're all seeking to repent. We're all seeking to change our minds and live lives that draw all of us to wholeness.

Adam Eichelberger (09:45)
One of the things I remember growing up and being like ⁓ in youth group and shout out to those of you who managed to make your way through a youth group and apologies for those of us who maybe had really hard youth group experiences. But I remember one time we were doing a Bible study and the word phylactery had been brought up. There was in the New Testament is Jesus talking about people affixing these phylacteries.

And we got so hung up on the word and we actually wound up making it its own term phylactoring. And that ⁓ we found that it is way less helpful to share about Jesus when we're way concerned with phylactoring. And that we are not supposed to be the font of all knowledge when it comes to God. And it's a reminder to me that I'm not in charge of saving people.

Bishop DeDe (10:17)
⁓ wow.

Adam Eichelberger (10:39)
⁓ that's, wanted, I want people to know about this thing that has happened in my life that has given me so much value and so much worth and, really given me a new identity, making me a new creation that like, just want to share that stuff and then we'll work out the rest of it. It's interesting Bishop that you talked about how I value myself, because that actually is a perfect segue into a question that Thomas gave us. Thomas says that they struggle with self-talk.

Yeah. And Thomas is often unkind to themselves in their own head. How can we change how we speak about ourselves through the lens of our faith? ⁓

Bishop DeDe (11:17)
Thomas, such a, these are such good questions and they, they speak to internal work we all have to do. And, and when I say have to do, we all have to do this work. Our meta discourse in our head is often hateful, derogatory, demeaning, telling us we're not worthy, we're not good enough. Those messages are not only harmful to our wellbeing, but they actually are destructive and keep us from God because God's invitation to us is you are worthy.

You are welcome. You are a person I've created with hope and joy. I think the way we change those narratives in our head is similar to the way we change anything in our life, whether it's practice. And when we note it to say, well, I'm going to change, know, no, we're going to, you know, there's that ghost again. I'm going to change this narrative in my head instead of this is something I have to do where you're just terrible to say, I'm a beloved child of God.

And I get to do this because I have the privilege of being alive and to keep working on changing those narratives. And then to do the real work sometimes, where did that voice come from? Is it someone else's voice that's in your head? Is it an abusive parent? Is it an abusive friend? Is it an abusive situation? Certainly speaking of people being harmed by the church, there have been times when the church has been abusive in its language.

not recognizing that all of us, all of us are trying to figure out how to understand this relationship with the divine. My theology professor used to say all of us are Hamlet trying to describe Shakespeare. And so we sometimes give, I think often all the time, too much credence to people who are in the know-it-all camp.

Well, this biblical scholar or well, this person who's taken Greek and Hebrew. I'm always impressed by people who really have taken the Greek and Hebrew, who really are the biblical scholars, because they tend to be much more humble. They're like, well, this is my understanding of this passage right now. But as I grow in my faith, as I grow in my understanding of the language, it becomes more deep and meaningful. No one has a corner on understanding God, and I don't care who they are.

There is a moment where our humanity, our Hamlet-like nature cannot describe Shakespeare, cannot describe the divine. And so we come to it with humility. So to do the work we need to do on our past and where we've been harmed, we need to decouple those voices and heal through letting those voices go where we change the narrative itself and say, every time I think this phrase, this is how I'm going to repair that brokenness.

And then to practice positive self-talk, which sounds kind of hard because it is hard. When we mess up to say, I am redeemed by God and it is not because I'm perfect. I did my best and I hold that before God, knowing that God always loves me and cares for me. And when we do that work on ourselves, then our message to other people is healed. Love your neighbor as yourself is a requirement on how we're going to love ourselves.

And if we're always so negative and hateful with our internal language, well, then that's what's going to come out with other people.

Adam Eichelberger (14:43)
I think it's really important too, ⁓ for me to remember and hopefully listener, this is something that maybe resonates with you, that when we talk about the power of how we speak and the words that we use, remembering, for those of you who may not be familiar with this in scripture, but some of us who grew up with a lot of Bible know that it says in the Bible that what the power of life and death lies in the tongue. That's right. And that we talk about this kind of talk that is supposed to be edifying and not degrading.

I think that sometimes, hopefully Bishop, you can talk about this, because this is just something that kind of popped into my head. When we look at, when we use language, because we've even used it here on the podcast, being your best self, that sometimes it feels like there's this overlap that you talked about a little bit earlier with kind of like almost like a new age mentality or kind of like this popular mentality of like, can manifest things. If I say the right words and I pray about and I try and

use my words to bring about my best self, but like all of a sudden I'm going to have like six pack abs and I'm going to look like Brad Pitt or whatever it is. Right. Can you talk a little bit why that makes some distinctions for us about how that kind of mentality is a little unhealthy and not exactly what we're talking about when we talk about the gospel.

Bishop DeDe (16:01)
Well, I would even go a little bit further and say it's a sin because ⁓ we're not called to manifest what we want. Our greed or our avarice or our whatever. We are actually as children of God, as we're called to manifest God's kingdom, God's kindom, God's community to the world. And what we're called to speak into being is the kingdom that Jesus is talking about creating.

A world in which forgiveness is greater than revenge, a world in which love is valued more than greed or hate, a world where compassion and generosity are core values that are lived out every day. How different this world would be if it was manifesting the actual fruit of the spirit, patience and love and self-control. And if we think about first Corinthians or these passages,

In scripture, that's what we're called to manifest. This isn't about living your best life, meaning, you know, I'm gonna have all of the temporal glory. Living my best life is to be at one with the God I love, to be whole inside of me and to be in community with those who are around me. And our need for repentance speaks to how we need to change our mind about what it is we're manifesting. It's not about

us. It's about God and all of us.

Adam Eichelberger (17:33)
That's so good. And I think that that perfectly kind of elicits what it is I was trying to get to. Now, this is becoming a recurring theme on the podcast. And this is the last one I wanted to bring up today. And listeners, I don't know if you've been picking up on this or it's just my good fortune, but somehow you all seem to continually be throwing in a question that I have ⁓ determined is like the curve ball. So a lot of times we get these questions about like these really deep

theological or philosophical or, or contemporary topics that you guys want us to talk about and share about how we could speak about those things. But this is my favorite part of the show because I get to throw you a curveball, Bishop D.D. This one comes from Olivia and Olivia wants to know if you could suddenly master any random skill like baking sourdough bread or speaking a new language or fixing up an old car, what random skill would you want to

find mastery of.

Bishop DeDe (18:34)
⁓ Olivia, I love this question. I already know how to bake sourdough bread, so I'm feeling pretty good about that one. I will say it would be learning a new language. I am really, really slow at picking up on a new language, and I would want to learn a new language because it would be greater capacity to not only communicate and speak my faith, but to hear and understand someone else's. So I if you could wave that magic wand, Olivia.

I'd love to speak Spanish. Lately it's Dinka, Karen, I mean, just pick one, but to be able to suddenly speak a language and be able to hear and understand and that Pentecost moment, I welcome it because our ability to communicate with one another is where we can begin and start our life of faith in deeper community and understanding. So great question. Well, speaking of faith, this is your turn now. As we have talked about these things here,

I encourage you to go from this space and speak with someone you love or care about or meet in your life about your faith, about their faith that we may listen and seek to understand. May you know that you are loved beyond measure. May you be a blessing and be blessed as you go into this wide world. Blessings to you.